Leadership is Love

Sounds warm and fuzzy, but love and warm and fuzzy don't always go together. If you want people to follow you, love them. It's as simple as that. The rub is in the definition of love.

It's the love talked about by the Biblical Apostle Paul in 1st Corinthians, Chapter 13 verses 4 through 8: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

It's amazing how much grace there is among subordinates for a leader who loves them. They pick up the slack, they look out for the leader, they work around his or her failings and incompetence.

I recently led a week long company team building trip in the Canadian Rockies. We created an environment where team mates were able to be vulnerable with one another and share openly and honestly about everything from their secret hopes and dreams to some of their deepest hurts and failures. During this week, these men learned more of what it looks like to love and therefore to lead. They learned about what it looked like to love themselves, their colleagues, their subordinates, their families and their God. Each one of them returned as a stronger leader in every aspect of his life because he had learned more how to love.

The trip changed my entire perspective on leadership training. Leadership training isn't simply about training in how to make good decisions or how to think clearly under stress or how to train people or any of the hundreds of other components of leadership. It is foremost about teaching leaders how to love, starting with themselves.

If you are still questioning this "philosophy" of leadership, consider those incredibly unique teams that have achieved greatness on small and large scales. The one characteristic that each exhibits is a deep love among the individual members of the team, even above the mission of the team itself and certainly above any self interest. The military combat team is the best example. The members don't fight for their country or for their mission. They fight because they love their "buddies" and because their "buddies" love them. If you love somebody with a 1st Corinthians Chapter 13 kind of love, he will be compelled to love you and if someone loves you, by definition he trusts that you have his best interests at heart. That kind of love will follow a leader anywhere he goes.

For more of Dano's thoughts on leadership, see his article in the Wharton Leadership Digest.